Same thing with our reunion with T1. This is the longest we've ever been away from him, about 12 days. He doesn't say mama or dada or see particularly attached, but he and I spend like all day every day together which has to count for something, right?
Wrong.
When we walked in the room he wasn't excited in the least. In fact he cried a little bit and rushed to his Polish grandpa to be held. He stared at us for several minutes and when I took him in my arms he sat there very stiff, as you imagine he would act with any stranger.
I struggled not to overanalyze this. Wouldn't a good parent have a child excited to see them again? I realize it is ridiculous to apply adult rationale to a toddler. He's the least rational creature I've ever experienced.
It took him a few hours, but I think he is warming up to us again.
That's an apple he is holding. He is SOOOO happy here. It truly is paradise for him.
Thanks to my in-laws for getting him these shoes. They're adorable!
Before lunch, he showed me a new favorite thing:
He loves this little Polish Teletubbies TV show
My MIL's mother lives in the same house as my MIL and FIL and she just can't get enough of T1
Interesting side note:
Poland, not so much with the political correctness
I'm not sure what to think of that (it isn't a word in Polish according to TH).
T1 has these banana squirt guns that he loves to chase people around with. Actually his favorite target is the cat.
I don't know if these are raspberries (they taste slightly different IMo), but these are my favorite. I want to come back this time of year every year so I can keep eating them.
Later in the afternoon we went on a shopping spree in the nearest mall. The mall is huge and by now quite familiar to me. I have my favorite shoe store where I love to browse, all made in Italy, which I realize is kind of silly since we were just in Italy but we didn't have the suitcase space to bring anything home.
Bongs!
Pinterest introduced me to yet another new easy updo which I'm loving. It's called the Gibson Tuck, and it's so easy that I can't believe I didn't think of it myself.
(This is not the best rendition, I had been lying down on this one while blogging, google it to see some better pictures)
I passed up this cardigan at the mall and now I'm not sure it was the best choice? I kind of want to go back and get it.
And my new shoes!
They are brown. I'm instituting a "no new black shoes (unless they are boots)" rule until I build up a better supply of alternative options.
He was probably just angry at you for "abandoning" him (Obviously, leaving him in toddler paradise in the care of his doting grandparents is not abandonment, but he is too little to understand what was really happening). Now that you are together again, he'll probably recover nicely (as the photos show :) ).
ReplyDeleteHowever...does he usually react that way when you leave? Because if so, that reaction is supposedly a sign of "avoidant attachment" (you can read about it by googling Ainsworth and Strange Situation test), which is correlated with a great number of problems later in life.
I don't mean to imply that there's anything wrong with your parenting. But if he's really not very attached to you, that is not typical/normal.
You're right - T1 is a toddler and has no rational at that age. I disagree with Grace though - I don't think he has any avoidant attachment issues...12 days is a long time for someone his age!
ReplyDeleteLove your comment re: the "bongs", although those are hookahs - they are different, where you smoke shisah (tobacco) vs. marijuana :)
The word "negro" means the color "black" in spanish, and I remember feeling so awkward about it when we were learning colors my freshman year of high school!
ReplyDeleteI think that is a completely normal reaction after a big trip. I think almost everyone I know's kids were ticked at them for a good day or so at that age. The first time Eli was excited to see us after a trip was right about when he was 2--the times before that he usually just stared at us and seemed confused. Even at two though, he still punished us with being totally miserable for a few days though as we readjusted :).
ReplyDeleteI think the negative connotation of "negro" is a very American thing...I wouldn't read too much into it.
ReplyDeleteReading about T1 broke my heart! I'm not looking forward to leaving my baby with someone else.
Interesting...I was just talking about attachment styles with my mom (a therapist) recently. It worries me so much as a soon-to-be mom who has to leave her baby in childcare. It was interesting that she said a lot of people view it as a good thing when their baby/toddler is fine without them all the time--they misunderstand the concept of attachment parenting and view that extremely early independence as a good thing when it truly might signify a problem.
Not saying T1 has an issue--your situation is pretty unique--but the topic in itself is interesting.
i want those shoes for my own little guy...holy cow they are cute!!!
ReplyDeletei think that sweater was too short, so i think it's good you passed it up. and im glad you didn't get black shoes...shoes are the best place to throw in color. i got these red sandal clogs from urban that i love and add color to my simple outfits.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't think there is an attachment issue really. During this age, its typical for kids to experiment with independence and also simultaneously needing mom/parents. And I agree with David.. I think the sweater was a pass. Plus if you change your mind, I've seen some cardigans like that here in the states.
ReplyDeleteMy kid used to be angry at me when I left for more than 2 hours. She'd refuse to play with me until I'd been home for a few hours. That stopped once she was fully verbal which was nice.
ReplyDeleteI bet he was just mad that you were there going to take up his grandma and grandpa time. he was probably really enjoying himself and it has nothing to do with attachment issues. it just meant mom and dad were back and now he had to share his best friends and that meant you might be leaving them soon.
ReplyDeleteIgnoring you like that is one of the main signs of a major attachment disorder, and as has been stated, those lead to numerous problems later in life. One of the major causes is not giving your child enough attention and ignoring them so severely it is a form of emotional abuse. I would be very concerned. That behavior is in no way normal.
ReplyDelete